Wholly CRAP

As I have finished another round of editing (definitely the last one I hope with publication just around the corner, I can feel it in my bones), I thought I would share with you read the opening paragraphs of one of the short stories waiting to be published in this book 'Briefs - A collection of short stories'.


It is about dragons and politics. I hope you enjoy it.

Wholly CRAP

“Order! Order!”

Sir Weary, Knight Commander of the Blue Order of Dragons, Ruler of the Seas Beyond and Four Star Accredited Superior Maddened Broom Witch Handler, called hoarsely into the public address.  For good measure he pressed firmly on the button that generated a feeling of a force 9 (devastating) earthquake, accompanied by the flash of a supernova. But his voice carried over the hubbub, which brooked slightly at his entreaty, but then rose to hum and buzz, with the occasional burst of flame and laughter. It was no use. Sir Weary drummed his left claw pondering his next move.  

The first quantum knots of dragons were in the lobby, some lounged over seats in the hall and others loped over the ever revolving staircases ensuring no one stayed in the same spot fore very long, being a most amusing feature of this venue. A source of excited discussion centred on the odds for the next parallel universe sliding competition. Typical. They were all free loaders. None of them had a decent thought in their large bulging bodies. This Fellowship met more than any other fellowship of dragons (every sixteen thousand light years, measured in standard fifty sixth universe terms) and always had wealthy sponsors. The Fellowship specialized in the process of converting Charientism, Refluxive Advertising and Political Spin (aka CRAP) into the concentrated high energy food dragons ate before an inter universe flight. The rich and famous were always willing to back them.

This was the 23^rd Symposium of the Fellows for the Saving of the Human Race, entitled Definitely the Last Try (We Promise) and was sponsored by Dewey Feedem Lies & Stats Inc., the prosperous firm of political spin eaters. They had gone to the outrageous step of paying the travelling expenses of everyone from universe sixty-three through seventy-two. This was an unrivalled budget, thirteen Big Bangs. Unfortunately the budget was not big enough to have a human representative. Such a shame, it may have been useful to have one of those pathetic creatures in attendance. Who better to come up with suggestions for saving humans than a human himself?