The honeymoon is over, as is breakfast in
bed, early morning coffee and holding hands while strolling along the beach.
Well, maybe you never did some of those things but fact of
the matter is, two people who once loved each other now cannot stand each
other, maybe even hate each other. Forgotten are the woves for better or for worse, for richer of for poorer. The only thing anyone is interested in now is how much am I worth.
The credit card has been taken away and
access to the joint account denied. There is no doubt the rose coloured glasses
have been taken off and gloves been put on.
Judging by news reports and web sites
dedicated to reporting on celebrity break ups, you are not alone.
The difference between your break up and
that of a celebrity couple are I imagine are fairly small and can be summarised briefly.
For starters you would not have your dirty
laundry splattered all over tabloids and the Internet, with your dirty laundry
only being aired in Court, or possibly on facebook or in front of family and
friends. A much smaller audience you would agree. The intensity of the fight, argument or dispute is no doubt the same.
It is rumoured that Danielle Spencer will
get twenty five million dollars in a property settlement. Tiger Woods x wife
received a huge amount of money as did the ex wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger. I
can hear some of you say, yes, but these women deserved every penny for what
they had to endure, which of course might be true. But wouldn’t you love to be
a fly on the wall when a celebrity couple attends mediation to try and come up
with an amicable settlement?
I can just imagine the arguments celebrity
couples have over Gucci watches, Klein underwear and European sports cars.
“Tell him that if he is looking for his
Klein underwear he can check at the local rubbish tip.” Hissed Samantha at her
lawyer, scrunching up a handkerchief in her small hands, which she had brought
for the tears she had been able to turn on when needed. It had not been her
best performance, but it had served its purpose.
Some time out had been called for by
Trevor’s legal team, perhaps he needed another hit of something. If it had not
been for his expensive drug habit they would now be arguing over twenty three
million dollars as opposed to twenty million dollars. And that blond bimbo, how
dare him bring her along to rub those large boobs of the new chick into her
face? It was not her fault that the boob job she had done last year did not
quite turn out as she had imagined. How dare him bring this up now in their
darkest hour? Had the pain she had to endure not been enough?
“What about his offer of giving you half of
the money and one of the mansions in LA?”
Samantha’s thoughts were interrupted by the
voice of her lawyer.
Pouting she replied. “Which one?”
The lawyer momentarily looked confused.
“Which one what?”
There is a sigh, one of those is this man
an idiot sigh and why did I not hire the great white, the nickname given to the
fiercest divorce lawyer in town, before she explained patiently. “Which mansion?”
At about a thousand dollars an hour she had expected more from her lawyer.
“Ahm,” there is some shuffling of papers as
her lawyer is looking for something.
“If HE wants me to have the Park Avenue
one, forget it. I want the Hill one.”
Struggling to write down his client’s
instructions Arthur, Samantha’s lawyer, was distracted by a knock on the door.
A tall slim woman with pencil skirt so
tight it looks like a second skin, blond shoulder length hair and tight white
blouse appeared at the door. Samantha is reminded of the serpent visiting Adam
and Eve. The smile is plastered onto the plastic looking face of the woman.
“A word please Arthur?”
Her voice is like a deep purr and Samantha
instantly regretted hiring a man for this job. A cat fight was what she wanted
not a mauling. Sighing Samantha watched as her lawyer, who by now was nearly
drooling and falling over himself to follow the temptress, walked into the den
of the lioness. Maybe she could make do with ten million and one of the
mansions.
I wonder which legal system Danielle and
Russell will use, the US one or the Australian one? Let’s watch this space.
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