Living next door to your ex spouse

So you have finally separated from your ex. It has been a difficult road, but you have come out at the other end. Finally the abuse the swearing and insults have stopped. You are free to do as you please.  The world is your oyster. Or so at least you thought.

The for sale sign on the place next door did not worry you. In fact you are excited to find out who your neighbor is going to be when you see ‘sold’ plastered all over the sign. You contemplate throwing a party to welcome the newcomer to your neighborhood. You dream of your new neighbor turning out to be your next date, the person you might even end up spending the rest of your life with.

It is at this point you know you have definitely moved on from your ex spouse.

In anticipation you watch the removal truck unload household goods and personal items. With great pleasure you feel a sense of familiarity as you watch and imagine your first meeting with your new neighbor.

“Hi,” you say with a big smile in your best Sunday outfit.

“Hi,” replies your neighbor quietly.

“It’s a great place you’ve got there.” You know this sounds silly but you plough on anyway. First meetings can be so awkward.

The ringing of the telephone means you have to run inside and abandon your prime position. Seeing your new date will have to wait.

“I’m moving,” it is your ex spouse. As if someone had tipped a bucket of ice water over you, you stiffen.

“So? Why are you telling me?” your mind is busy trying to work out what the purpose of this call is. What does it matter to you? There must be a hidden agenda. There always was.

“No need to be rude,” the voice of your ex has risen slightly.

“No need to shout.” You are getting defensive.

“I wasn’t shouting.”

“Anyway,” you move toward the window to see if your new neighbor has arrived yet. “What do you want.”

“Why do you straight away assume I want something?” your ex hisses.

“Because you always want something.” This is getting silly.

A car pulls into the driveway. It is a black sports number. Nice. You like it. You imagine getting a ride in it.

“Look if there’s nothing else. I’ve got to go. Good luck,” You do not wait for an answer. You hang up and rush out the door. As you pass the mirror you quickly check lunch is not still somewhere on your face. No, you look presentable.

The smile plastered across your face instantly turns into a frown when you get a look at your neighbor. You cannot believe. There must be a mistake?

“You hung up on me prick.” Your ex now shouts across the driveway and gives you the finger before walking toward the front door.

As you watch you cannot believe what you have just seen. This is like your worst nightmare, or pretty close to it.

You go back into your own home and pace the length of the living room. You need a plan and you need it quickly. 

Four weeks later you shut the front door and say good bye to your house. It was a difficult decision, but one that had to be made. Who wants to live next to their ex, not you that’s for sure.